My masks

I have many masks: mom, wife, sister, caregiver, aunt, daughter, niece, etc. In the process of all these masks that I have I lost me.

I am good at talking about my family, my kids, my husband and such, but I'm not good at talking about me. I am trying to change that and I feel like I am making strides to changing that. In the process I don't know if I am loosing more of me then ever before. What I mean about that is I don't know WHO I am. I don't think I have ever known who I am. I have always tried to be what everyone wants me to be. I am a strong and independent woman but at the same time I'm not. I know you are thinking man this woman doesn't know what she is trying to say and to that I would have to agree.

I went on a retreat for caregivers at the end of August beginning of September with a bunch of other woman that are doing the same thing I do on the day to day. It opened my eyes to so many things. I realized I do use masks instead of finding the real me, and that I never had people in my life that understood because I never choose the right kind of friends. I am taking things one day at a time to find out who I really am. I never thought that a 30 year old wouldn't know who they were but there you go.... I am a 30 year old and I have no idea who I am but I'm trying to find out.

I can still be a mom, a wife, caregiver, sister, aunt, daughter but that doesn't define who I am. I am a person that wants to know who I am. With the help of my husband, my warrior sisters, and a few other people I am finding out who I am.

I am hoping I find out who I am soon because I need to be me...... I love my kids and I love my husband but its time to be ALL ABOUT ME.....